The Story of A Very Short Boy and A Girl With Food
by Pansychic27213
Summary: This was a joke request for my friend... It is a crack-fic.


**A/N: My friend was joking with me and said I should write a story about her and Edward. This is what happened after 24 hours without sleep...**

**Joke Request**

Once upon a time,

There was...

A boy. He was a LITTLE boy. He was a very SHORT, LITTLE-

_Edward: HEY! THEY GET IT! MAYBE I'M NOT SHORT! MAYBE THE REST OF YOU ARE JUST FREAKISHLY TALL!_

Okay?... Anyway, there was a (little) boy who had made a mistake. He had...

Gotten really, really lost. No seriously, his sense of direction was horrible. Like, he couldn't tell north from south, it was SOOOOOOOO BAAAAAAD.

_Edward: SERIOUSLY? IT WASN'T THAT BAD! IT COUKD HAVE HAPPENED TO ANYONE!_

Okay, seriously? You ended up lost in a forest in the middle of an uncharted island!

_Edward: ..._

That's what I thought. Ahem. Anyway-

So the (little) boy was (horribly) lost. He couldn't find any water and his stomach wouldn't stop growling. He hadn't been able to gather anything edible, and so far there had been no animal life.

Suddenly, a twig snapped!

The (really tiny) teen sprinted forward, hoping to catch something to eat. Instead he found...

A really hot girl. Like seriously, dude. She was so hot, you could scramble eggs on her skin. (That thought, by the way, made him even more hungry.) She was only slightly shorter than him. (Which must have been a miracle because seriously he is the shortest-

_Edward: OH MY GOSH! WILL YOU QUIT IT!_

Anyway.

So she had silky brunette hair and gorgeous eyes that reminded him of pools of melted chocolate. (Which, again, made him REALLY hungry.) Her skin was fair, like-

_Edward: Don't say it. Don't you say it!_

Her skin was fair like MILK.

_Edward: AAARRRGGGHHHH!_

She was slender and curvy (in all the right places, he might add.) And by far, the most attractive thing about her was...

The huge plate of food in her hands.

Immediately, the two jumped into introductions.

"Oh, um-" the girl started softly, staring wide-eyed at the boy. "I'm Liandra. Who are you?" A fiery blush ignited across the boy's cheeks as he realized that he had been staring.

_Edward: I-I would never do that._

Shut up. It's happening. So...

"I-I'm Ed," he answered in embarrassment. "Where are we?" The girl glanced around for a moment before looking to the plate of food in her hands. She quirked an eyebrow and glanced to the sky.

"Not America... That's for sure." Suddenly she jolted. "Edward. Edward... Elric? Edward Elric Edward?"

The boy gaped at her in surprise. "Yeah, that's me."

"OH MY GOSH!"

_Edward: She's not like that!_

For all intents and purposes of the story. She will be.

"HOW ARE YOU HERE? HOW AM I HERE?" Liandra screamed.

"Ummmmm, I have no idea." The boy practically drooled as he stared longingly at the food. "Hey, do you think I could...?"

"Oh, um, yeah, sure!" She smiled slightly and reached out to hand him the plate. They both blushed slightly as their hands touched. After a few moments of awkward silence, Edward thanked Liandra for the food and began to eat loudly. Apparently, she was deaf (or something) because she seemed to ignore his poor eating habits.

_Edward: I DON'T EAT LIKE THAT!_

Don't lie.

Anyways...

After Ed had eaten, the two decided to travel together and found their way back to the beach. It was getting late, so they settled down to watch the sunset. Somehow, something in all of this was so moving that the (honestly puny) boy found himself spilling his life story, from his apparent reasons for daddy issues and fear of abandonment, to his desperate feelings of loneliness.

_Edward: What. The. Heck._

Liandra was so moved by his confessions that she scooted closer in a movement to give him a comforting hug. Strangely misjudging the distance, the two found their lips crashed together in a sloppy kiss.

_Edward: Oh. My. Gosh. ... No._

After finally getting past their mental block, the two scrabbled apart, faces bright red and bodies oddly warm.

"W-what was t-that?!" Ed shouted hoarsely upon recalling that he did, indeed, have a voice.

"A, um, oh, wow, a-a, ummmmmm, k-kiss?" Liandra fumbled for words. They quickly turned away from each other and stared at the now night sky.

_Edward: That did not happen._

It did. Be quiet; you're ruining the moment...

Eventually, Liandra dosed off into a light sleep. (Edward quickly noted that she looked very peaceful and *cough*cute*cough*.) With only the starlight to brighten the sky, Edward soon fell into a deep sleep, unconsciously rolling over and wrapping his arms around Liandra.

_Edward: I-I didn't! WHY YOU LIE?!_

After a few moments of this, Liandra's eyes snapped open and she glared into the sky.

"[My name], I don't know whether to thank you or to kill you." The author just smiled and somehow managed to pat Liandra's head.

And then, taking on a very serious expression, the author said...

"PANCAKES."

**A/N: At least some of that should have made you laugh. She read that and said she was laughing so hard she was crying.**


End file.
